A Mess.

Because seriously that is what my life is. A GIANT FREAKING MESS! It is the holiday season and it is just Bella, Peanut and me for this weekend. It has got me feeling a little down. It is giving me way too much time to think about a lot of things.

1. My Friends, or I should I say lack of TRUE friends. I have tons of people I can talk to about random things that mean a little or nothing, but who can I turn to when I need someone to say STOP! you need a hug and a good ear to listen to what is going on. Now I am not saying my life is super rough or whatever, and I know that others have it worse than me but I still need to be able to vent or cry or show emotions.

Don't get me wrong, I have select people I have this relationship with but they are so far away and can't be here to physically hug me or actually talk to me about things and it makes me feel bad.

2. MY JOB! oh my goodness, I love my job. I just hate the drama that comes with it. I am looking into getting my certification for it. Only going to cost me roughly $250 for it but it is good for four years. Gives me time to do what I want and save money. But thats for the outside..

Besides me always over thinking things and going crazy with all of my what ifs, I am trying to enjoy life and get ready to go back to school. I need to go to Sinclair and take the placement tests but because I delayed it so long I may not be able to start school in January and that kind of upsets me.. I also need to decide what I want to do... I want to be a teacher, a nurse, a scrub tech, or a marketing major... but medical pays so well.. but body parts are a pain to remember!

btw, sleeping pills suck and attack my body! I am so tired but I still took one tonight because I need to sleep and stay asleep tonight. bleh.