What is wrong with me?!

Seriously?! I went to bed at like 11 last night and I have been waking up since 0630! This is silly. Why won't my body just let me sleep?! Oh because it hates me! sheesh. This is getting old. My one day to sleep in and I am wide awake. :(

In other news, I have discovered that  I still suck at words. The other night when I posted my blog "For me and maybe the puppies" (or whatever I titled it)... I wanted to express that while I was waiting to take my FINAL CDC test I discovered I am reaching towards being a BTZ SrA for myself, I have no one to share my accomplishments with, no one to come home to and say look what I did and get a pat on the back. Nope it is just me and my puppies. To be honest they would love me no matter what do. Sometimes maybe even just a little too much but I love them anyway. It doesn't help the fact that I am alone.. PLEASE don't get me wrong I am not complaining about it. Living by myself has its perks but then again there are those times like the past few nights when I miss being held or talked to. The friends I normally text have all decided to be super quiet these past few days so it gets a little scary when I have no one to talk too and then I don't know.. I think silly things and they are in my head and go off on tagants and it just becomes very depressing.

I don't want my life to be depressing. I want to be outgoing. I want to hang out with the people I know and not just feel used. I want to have real friends who I can go and do things with even if it is just watching movies at one of the houses. Maybe I am wanting too much. I feel like I am a great friend to have around but sometimes I make it so awkward. It makes me think thats what people don't like about me... Which brings me back to a depressing thought! ugh.

Well yesterday I failed my PT test. It made me really mad. Not gonna lie. I have been training indoors, was expecting to run indoors and we didn't. When I was finished with the test I couldn't breathe, wanted to throw up but I didn't have anything to throw up. (I don't eat in the morning before a PT test) It was a mess. Came home, showered, and went to lunch with my friend Charles. After lunch I called to make an appointment with my doctor and was told I couldn't because I had to go to the ER first for Chest Pain and make a follow up appointment with them later.. (Come to find out later, you don't have to do that. They can't refuse to make you an appointment and they can't force you to go to the ER!) While I was at the ER, I was given a breathing treatment, mortion, a chest x-ray and a Cardiogram. That was fun. All to discover that I shouldn't of been running outside because it gave me a brochii spasm! Oh yay me! So this morning I have a little to none chest pain, still coughing like crazy, and it hurts a little when I breathe. I was told to take it easy. ugh. Stupid things and things. Just makes me so upset that I failed my PT test, it hurts when I do anything up in upper chest, I can't run for the next two days and I have to start getting ready for a PT test again in three months.

Good thing I enjoy working out.