It's just a misunderstanding.... On my part.

So I am not a very strong person. I am quite insecure and hardly ever stand up for myself. I feel like I am alone in this world with a few select people who are patience enough to get to know me. Once they do, I am sure they find out quickly that I can be a sass, I am extremely stubborn and I don't like to be wrong. 

Which for me being wrong is one thing but to have people rub it in your face is just another story. An example; I was "invited" to go out this weekend for a little bit with a group of people I work with. No set time or date but I figured it would be early since that's what time they were getting together at the time I was invited. I was like cool. I have never been invited to hang out with them so I was really excited. So I apparently was told I talked about it a lot when I found out and the day after. Which if you know me if I get excited or happy about something it's a rare thing because I am such a Debbie downer all the time (even with trying not to be). But so yeah, I was excited. 

Today I made a status on Facebook about how excited I was for this weekend but also how busy I was making myself because I wanted to get so much stuff done. Everything was fine and I knew about a good 80% of my friends on Facebook didn't give a hoot but I wanted to post it. A little while after it had been up I got a comment about the invite that I received. Me being the prideful person I am didn't want to admit over Facebook that it was a mistake invite. The person was drunk out of their mind and didn't mean to invite me. Who ever wants to admit that they aren't cool enough to hang out with the cool kids? That's how it has been my whole life. I know I am an outsider and I have grown to accept it but it still hurts because I am such a weak person. I know most people are probably like get over it but it was kind of a big deal to me. So back to what I was saying, I was confirmed one way that it was a mistake and then once again at work about it being a mistake because I just wanted to make sure. So I was basically burned twice in one day about the same thing. 

I just don't understand why things needed to be said over Facebook or whatever and why people can't just text me or FaceTime or private message me about it. If what I was saying was bothering you you could of said something about it that nights and I would of shut up. I am good at that. 

Just feels like nothing I do is ever right. 

-Beautiful Disaster